"badass"

[parch]

I never stepped onto that stage Tuesday, it was
close, with my lines memorized
and all my madness engaged, I couldn't seem
to find the voice still

but if I had walked down to Simpkins, the
rain draining down like a leaky faucet, just
enough to scare you into thinking it would pour

if I had walked up the steps too fast, winded
myself from that last minute cigarrette,
walked up and asked J.B. when I was on

if I had stepped onto stage and blurted out
in perfect tone the brilliant lines of a
brilliant playwright whose name it seems
escapes me

if I had waited at the end for their
silent approval, shook hands outside, sweated
through my shirt, gone nuts afterward
just on the relief

I wouldn't have been there with you, each
second that night, the next day and day after,
all these conversations that mean so little
that mean so much

I
I wouldn't have been something witty and
brave in the dark basement

I wouldn't have been in love with your face
the way it lights up when I say,
"badass," and you say,
"yes, that's badass ramsey."

and I wouldn't have this feeling, this
connection that came
all those days I wasn't doing
all those things I should have

I wouldn't be able to remember the grass
on the hill by the parking lot
the go cart circling with a parachute
in the sky

the frenzy and the peace
and other things we found

[Hannibal]

I wouldn't have been there with you, each
second that night, the next day and day after,
all these conversations that mean so little
that mean so much

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">that's my favorite bit in that peice I think...
because, well, it's such a play on words I had to read it twice, and it tickled my fancy.

I really liked this poem. Much more .... "contained" than some of the works you posted before your long haitus (sp?) here at Word & Voice.
It seemed to have a structure - and appearances, and movement.
I like this a lot more than the works I remember you posting here, but... I've never been one for names in poetry. So when you used "ramsey" it was a little off-putting, but that's just a personal thing - nothing bad about the poem.
I dig it...
Not sure if it was intentional, but the breaks in the lines - to break up the sentances was key to this as well, and it worked well.

Nice work!